ist2_3433862-the-flasherThere’s a subject I would like to bring that I don’t think gets discussed enough. That is masturbating in public. I wanted to tell you my encounter with this interesting practice.

I was on the train on my way home from work. And I’m sitting on the last aisle seat which faces the door. There happens to be a very attractive brunette next to me. The train arrives in times square. There is a middle-aged black guy on the platform but he does not board the train. He was wearing a purple valour FUBU sweatsuit. Where he got a fubu sweatsuit, I have no idea and why he’s still rocking it after 1998 is beyond me. As soon as he sees the woman next to me, he lowers his sweatpants and starts masturbating for her. How generous of him, right?

But I was the lucky guy who to get to see the whole show. Yay!

I was obviously horrified and I immediately started telling people my story, because it’s clearly hilarious. And I was quite shocked that nearly all the women I told about this had a story of their own. Seriously, there aren’t many women who haven’t had a creepy stranger expose himself to them in public. What I find interesting about this is that most of them are so desensitized to it because it happens so frequently. The girls even trade stories with each other, which include wonderful details like a guy pulling his dick out in an elevator or the time a guy ejaculated on a girl’s leg on a public bus. Ahhh, such protein filled tragedies.

Yikes! You win honey. I can’t compete with that. My story is not nearly as cool.

I am so sorry ladies. I have to apologize for the male species. But it’s time to get revenge and start doing it to us. Pull a breast out while on line at the DMV. That’ll teach us!

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