Paris Hilton is claiming the cocaine she was charged for possessing, wasn’t hers because the bag it was found in was “too cheap to be hers.” Hilton feels she is innocent in all of this, on the grounds that she’s an asshole. A new poll says that 63% of Americans have no clue who Emily [...]
Despite rumors, American Idol producers claim they have never used autotune for any performance. They swear the singers sound that awful on their own. Bristol Palin has agreed to be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. People in the media have chalked this up as just another publicity stunt to try and [...]
Heidi Montag wants a breast reduction because she feels her G-Cup implants were “a mistake.” Which is coincidentally the same thing Heidi’s parents say about their daughter. A Seattle bride was arrested for drunk driving on her wedding day. She said she didn’t understand why it was a big deal because she always “pre-games” before [...]
Tiger Woods’ divorce has officially been finalized. Tiger is very disappointed because now, sleeping with whores won’t be nearly as exciting. The DEA is looking for ebonics experts to translate Atlanta drug traffickers’ wire taps. They have already extended a generous offer to Dr.Laura. Chicago Cubs manager, Lou Piniella retired today after a 46 year [...]
Betty White recently landed a 2-book deal. One book will be a memoir about what comedy was like in the 1800′s. In Moscow, they are banning the sale of alcohol after 10pm. Due to the law, Russian citizens have now decided to escape from their problems while at work. Lindsay Lohan is set to make [...]
